in which sokka takes mario kart way too seriously
by dickpuncher420
Summary: a loose fill of the prompt 'did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker'


Despite what many people might say, Sokka is _not_ competitive. He swears he's not. He's _not._ He just…gets a little overexcited sometimes, is all.

Especially when he and his boyfriend are playing Mario Kart at 11 in the morning, unshowered and in their boxers and just a tiny, _tiny_ bit overcaffeinated.

(Okay, _very_ overcaffeinated. It's not Sokka's fault that he repeatedly misjudges exactly how much coffee a person should consume in the morning. Sue him.)

Anyways, Mario Kart and large doses of coffee are not a great combination for someone as… _excitable_ as Sokka. Which is something that Zuko has yet to learn, despite being his boyfriend of nearly two years and having been subjected to the exact same ordeal many times over.

"HA! Take THAT, bitch, look who's in first NOW! Yeah, that's right, you can suck my ASS!"

Zuko is just hoping that their neighbours aren't around to hear Sokka's colourful commentary.

"Hey, FUCK YOU! Get your cheating bullet ass outta my face! DICK!"

Sokka screeches as Toad (fuckin' asshole, that Toad) overtakes him in first with the use of one of those goddamn bullets. _Man_ , does Sokka hate those bullets. It's just a cheap way for crappy players to gain ground on the people who _actually_ have skill, like Sokka.

(Not that he's one to brag, but Sokka _is_ pretty good at Mario Kart. There's a reason why he's always in first.)

(Okay, _almost_ always.)

Speaking of crappy players, Sokka glances down at Zuko's half of the screen and chuckles when he sees the big fat twelve sitting in the corner of the screen, mocking as hell. Man, no matter how many times they play together, Zuko is really not gifted at Mario Kart.

From beside him, Zuko groans in frustration when he runs into a green shell and is promptly flung off the side of a bridge, and Sokka can't help but snicker. His boyfriend's repeated failure never gets old.

Focusing again on his half of the screen, Sokka whoops when his green shell connects with Toad, that fucking bitch.

"That's what you GET, you little fucker! Make way for the KING!"

Sokka speeds past the finish line and feels his heart rate pick up when the little cloud-dude-thing announces the final lap.

(Okay, yes, Sokka gets really into Mario Kart. It's not his fault that he's a natural born racer.)

Zuko, for his part, is still stuck in last place, _far_ behind the rest of the racers. In fact, he's only just started his second lap. Sokka, comfortably settled in first place and confident that he won't be overtaken, sneaks a glance over at Zuko's face. He almost laughs at his expression.

Zuko's brow is furrowed in concentration, and he has his tongue poking out from between his lips. He's focused intently on the screen, leaning forward in anticipation and nose scrunched up in frustration. Sokka smiles when Zuko's face falls into an adorably heartbroken expression as he accidentally runs into a tree.

(And fine, _yes_ , Sokka used to word 'adorable' to describe his boyfriend, but can you really blame him?)

Sokka nudges Zuko in a very lazy, very half-assed attempt to cheer him up, but it probably only seems like he's making fun of him. Which he kind of is, to be honest. But he's mostly trying to provide comfort. Mostly.

Sokka turns back to his screen as he approaches the finish line for the third time. This is the moment of truth. He _can't_ screw up. All his attention needs to be on the game now.

His grin widens as he draws closer to the end. He's going to win; not even _Toad_ could stop him now.

(Actually, Toad is in like seventh or something now. Serves him _right_ , the little shit.)

Sokka leans forward, heart racing, single-minded in his purpose. He's got this. He's _so_ got this. He's going to win. He's going to _win_. He's going to—

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

Sokka shrieks as his character, Yoshi, the ever-faithful Yoshi, is flung into the air literally five feet in front of the finish line by a fantastic explosion that _came out of fucking nowhere._

That can only mean one thing.

"DID YOU JUST FUCKING BLUE SHELL ME?"

Sokka would have been content screaming at nobody in particular, just the game in general, maybe Toad if he were completely honest, if his stupid boyfriend hadn't _giggled_ like he was fucking five years old.

Sokka turns his head ever so slowly to stare at Zuko, who is trying, and failing, to smother the grin on his face.

"You. Did. _Not_ ," Sokka grinds out, teeth clenched.

Zuko stops trying to hide his grin and, man, he must have a deathwish, because then he _winks_ at Sokka, the _fucker._

Looking back on the moment, Sokka might be proud of the tackle he makes. At the moment, though, he's a bit too focused on trying to strangle his boyfriend to appreciate his innate rugby skills.

"I can't believe you fucking BLUE SHELLED ME YOU MOTHERFUCKER! How could you do this to me? After everything I've taught you? Have some respect for your elders you insolent child!"

And Zuko has the _fucking gall_ to laugh like this isn't a _fucking serious matter?_ Sokka has him _pinned to the ground_ and he's acting like nothing's going on, everything's just fine and dandy.

Sokka takes back everything he ever said about Zuko being adorable.

"HEY! Mario Kart is no laughing matter! You are in no position to be mocking me. You're at my mercy, peasant!"

And, ah shit, Sokka totally forgot that Zuko's been trained in like five million different martial arts, because he quite suddenly finds himself on his back with Zuko straddling his chest and pinning his arms to the ground.

"Argh, Zuko! Get off of me!"

And can you _believe_ the bastard, Zuko is still laughing at him, even when he's obviously won. Go on, kick a man when he's down. Way to be a champ, Zuko.

"Elders?" Zuko says, struggling to keep his laughter contained. "The last time I checked, _I_ was older than _you._ "

"Good luck telling that to other people, _shorty pie."_

Sokka's victory is short lived, because Zuko, the cheating asshole that he is, runs his hands up Sokka's sides, a grin that can only be described as evil planted on his stupid face.

Sokka _shrieks_ , and no, he is _not_ in the mood for a tickle fight, not after Zuko just fucking blue shelled him in Mario Kart. But Sokka's body is a traitor, because he starts laughing and squirming and trying to push Zuko off. _Damn him_ , why did Zuko have to go and use his only weakness against him?

(Okay, that's a lie. Sokka has a lot of weaknesses. Like puppies. And meat. And swords. And boyfriends who like to think that they're _dark_ and _broody_ but are secretly huge dor—nevermind.)

"Zuko! No, Zuko, sto—AH!" Sokka's attempts at dislodging Zuko are futile and he's left helpless as Zuko tickles him until he's basically crying while gasping for breath.

Zuko finally lets up after like _five hours straight of tickling, fuckin hell man_ , and Sokka sucks in a huge, gasping breath. "Do you give up?" Zuko asks, smug as a dragon.

" _Never!"_ Sokka tries to glare, but it's a little hard when he can't really breathe and there are tears in his eyes.

Zuko shrugs. "You asked for it."

Sokka _really_ hopes that their neighbours aren't home, because if his enthusiastic cursing earlier hadn't been enough, his murderous screams would definitely have raised a few eyebrows.

Sokka bucks beneath Zuko, and with his wild flailing finally manages to push his boyfriend off of him.

Zuko lands on his back with a thud. Sokka shoots up, ready to get his revenge, and almost tackles Zuko a second time in his haste to immobilize him. Sokka wastes no time jabbing his fingers into Zuko's sides, cackling all the while. Man, his boyfriend is going to _pay._

Sokka freezes when he realizes that he's not getting a reaction out of Zuko. In fact, staring down at Zuko's face, he seems decidedly unaffected. Unimpressed, even.

" _Are you fucking kidding me?"_ How could Sokka forget that his boyfriend _isn't fucking ticklish?_ Every single deity and spirit and whatnot out there must be laughing at his stupidity. He's such a failure.

It's with a sort of resigned acceptance that Sokka lets Zuko flip them over once again. He's accepted his fate. Death by tickle fight it is.

Except that Zuko, inconsistent bastard that he is, decides that, instead of tickling Sokka as any reasonably predictable person would, he's going to kill Sokka by kissing him to death instead.

Sokka squeals in a decidedly unmanly way when Zuko begins to pepper kisses all over his face. Is Zuko for fucking real? Sokka refuses to die like this—at least by being tickled he'd have some shred of dignity left. But this? _Death by smooches?_ This is outrageous and Sokka won't have it.

"Zuko! Zuko no! Nooo!" Sokka shrieks. "Stop! Stop it you asshole!"

Zuko pulls back and grins mischievously— _oh no don't do that it's turning Sokka on—_ and says, very deliberately, "No."

And then he continues his horrifyingly adorable assault. Sokka laughs and tries to bat him away, but to no avail. He's almost accepted that he's never going to get Zuko to stop.

"You're. Going. Down." Zuko punctuates each word with a kiss; on his nose, his cheek, his mouth.

And _oh,_ that might give Sokka an idea.

"Yeah," Sokka says, and Zuko pulls away, skeptical. Of course he'd be skeptical; when has Sokka ever admitted defeat in his life?

"Really?" Super skeptical, yep.

Sokka winks, slow and deliberate.

"On you."

And then he shoves his hand down the front of Zuko's boxers.

.

.

.

"You know, I still can't believe you fucking blue shelled me, you asshole."


End file.
